In Oprah!

Like millions of other women, I get Oprah magazine. Yes, there are fashion tips I think are ridiculous and dozens of products I will never try, but I often find a few articles that are thought-provoking and, at times, even well-written. And it's way better than most other magazines for women.

I have never written a letter to the editor, but I did after reading an article and interview with Elizabeth Gilbert (author of Eat, Pray, Love) in the last Oprah issue. And today, while reading this month's issue, I thought to myself, Now this seems really familiar. It was my letter to the editor! I had totally forgotten. Being excited about getting a letter to the editor published in Oprah is probably kinda dorky, but I'm kinda dorky.

Gilbert was being interviewed because of her new book, Committed. In short, it's her story of confronting her fears and stereotypes of marriage after being "sentenced to matrimony" with her Brazilian boyfriend in order for him to reenter and live in the US. She was very articulate about how marriage, though hard, is beautiful because of it's ability to refine our understanding of ourselves and our ability to truly love and accept another. So I was surprised to read her view on motherhood. She was asked about her grandmother, who cut up her favorite coat in order to make clothes for her first daughter because money was so short. Gilbert's response was, "That's the story of motherhood, in a large way. You take the thing that is most precious to you, and you cut it up and give it to somebody else who you love more than you love the thing. And we tend to idealize that, and I'm not sure we should. Because the sacrifice that it symbolizes is also huge." How narrow-minded, I thought. I was bothered by her one-dimensional view of mothering, especially in light of her multi-dimensional view of marriage.

So here's what I wrote:

I enjoy Elizabethe Gilbert's candor and the way she openly receives life. So I was surprised to read her negative view of mothering. As a new mother, I'm realizing that parenting, like marriage, is an opportunity to learn how to better love and respect myself. Though parenting is complicated an deeply difficult (again - like marriage), it presents another crossroads in life where we have to struggle with who we really are and what is truly important to us. Gilbert so quickly dismisses the beautiful messiness of mothering, but I think she would find it offers the same opportunities for growth as does her relationship with Felipe.

Thanks Oprah! And thanks Marianne! We're celebrating with your yummy oreo cookies tonight :)