Oh when do the tired days end?
When I was in college, pulling late late evenings and sometime all-nighters, I remember thinking - When college is over, I will be able to sleep in.
When I started my first teaching job and came home with hours of work each night just to be prepared for the next day, I remember thinking - My 2nd year will be less work, and the 3rd even less. Then I will be able to sleep.
Then I got married. Ryan was working his first teaching job. I spent my evenings cooking, cleaning the kitchen, cleaning other parts of the house, and then stayed up late helping him with his schoolwork and occasionally doing some of my own, and I remember thinking - When this first year of marriage is over and Ryan's more organized, then we will get more sleep.
And then we went to Poland. That was an easy job, a leisure year ... certainly I would get more sleep there! But I was unhappy, and stayed up late drinking and playing scramble with neighbors because going to sleep meant I had to wake up and go to the job I hated again.
When we came back from Poland, I remember thinking - I know I'm not going to sleep this year. I was working full-time and in a graduate program full-time. All the better because our awful little apartment wasn't so sound proof.
And then we moved to Eugene and got pregnant. I remember thinking - Now this is a great excuse to sleep, and boy am I tired! But, dead on my feet though I was, I still didn't sleep. It's hard to do when you have to get up 3 times/night to pee, and another half dozen times to get comfortable again.
Then, of course, we had our wonderful Bean who we love to the moon and back. Maybe I'll sleep in 18 years.
31 January 2010
26 January 2010
Coconut Chicken Soup
After a rough morning at school, I came home to leftover coconut chicken soup for lunch. It was so very good. There's really nothing like a steamy bowl of soup with delicious, nutritious broth to make the world a little better (even if just for 15 minutes). And I thought if it made my day better, it might help do the same for friends too.
I love trying new recipes. Not that I have much time for it these days, but it's probably one of my favorite things to do. I really enjoy preparing someone else's idea of wonderful, tasting it, then throwing in a little more of this, a little more of that, or some oh-wouldn't-this-taste-good-in-it-too? My additions don't always make it better, but the process sure is fun. It's like revising a story because you have a form to work with instead of creating from scratch.
The original recipe is from the book "Eat Fat, Lose Fat" by Mary Enig and Sally Fallon (in keeping with New Year's resolution 6). It looked promising and, having cooked nothing like it before, I had few expectations, which I think is helpful when going into a new recipe. Ryan had cut up all of the leftover chicken from the night before, so it took about 45 minutes total, and that's including tending to the babe. So here it is, with my additions.
Coconut Chicken Soup (for 4)
1 can whole coconut milk (Mae Ploy is my favorite)
3 c chicken stock (homemade if possible)
1/2 c brown rice (optional) - I used 1/4 c., and I cooked it ahead of time. It added some nice texture to the soup.
1/4 t crushed red chiles - I used cayenne as I didn't have crushed red chilies. I just kept adding to taste, probably around 1/2 t
1-inch piece of ginger, peeled and chopped
1 t salt or 1 T Thai fish sauce - I used fish sauce, and added more than 1 t, to taste
1 t Sucanat/Rapadura, or palm sugar
juice of 1 lemon or 2 limes - I added more lemon juice (from the bottle in the fridge) to taste
1 T fresh basil leaves - I added a little more
1 c chopped cooked chicken meat or uncooked chicken meat cut into fine strips
+ I added about a cup of chopped mushrooms, which the recipe didn't call for but which sounded good to me ... and I was right :)
Put it all in a pot, bring it to a boil, then reduce heat and simmer 20-30 minutes (unless you cook rice in the broth, then you'll have to simmer longer, and wait to add chicken until the last 15 minutes or so).
Delish!
I love trying new recipes. Not that I have much time for it these days, but it's probably one of my favorite things to do. I really enjoy preparing someone else's idea of wonderful, tasting it, then throwing in a little more of this, a little more of that, or some oh-wouldn't-this-taste-good-in-it-too? My additions don't always make it better, but the process sure is fun. It's like revising a story because you have a form to work with instead of creating from scratch.
The original recipe is from the book "Eat Fat, Lose Fat" by Mary Enig and Sally Fallon (in keeping with New Year's resolution 6). It looked promising and, having cooked nothing like it before, I had few expectations, which I think is helpful when going into a new recipe. Ryan had cut up all of the leftover chicken from the night before, so it took about 45 minutes total, and that's including tending to the babe. So here it is, with my additions.
Coconut Chicken Soup (for 4)
1 can whole coconut milk (Mae Ploy is my favorite)
3 c chicken stock (homemade if possible)
1/2 c brown rice (optional) - I used 1/4 c., and I cooked it ahead of time. It added some nice texture to the soup.
1/4 t crushed red chiles - I used cayenne as I didn't have crushed red chilies. I just kept adding to taste, probably around 1/2 t
1-inch piece of ginger, peeled and chopped
1 t salt or 1 T Thai fish sauce - I used fish sauce, and added more than 1 t, to taste
1 t Sucanat/Rapadura, or palm sugar
juice of 1 lemon or 2 limes - I added more lemon juice (from the bottle in the fridge) to taste
1 T fresh basil leaves - I added a little more
1 c chopped cooked chicken meat or uncooked chicken meat cut into fine strips
+ I added about a cup of chopped mushrooms, which the recipe didn't call for but which sounded good to me ... and I was right :)
Put it all in a pot, bring it to a boil, then reduce heat and simmer 20-30 minutes (unless you cook rice in the broth, then you'll have to simmer longer, and wait to add chicken until the last 15 minutes or so).
Delish!
22 January 2010
Weird
What do you do when you find a visitor has left a schematic for a redesigned kitchen - your kitchen - on your kitchen table? Were they trying to be helpful? Do they think my kitchen is that awful? Did they mean to leave it as not-so-subtle hint that they think I need to remodel? Or was it just left by accident?
Isn't that weird? Who does that?
Isn't that weird? Who does that?
19 January 2010
The Problem with Vacations
Ryan and I played hooky today. We went to central Oregon on Sunday (having Monday off because of MLK day), called in subs last night, and enjoyed our extra day looking at beautiful snow-capped mountains and drinking coffee at Sisters Coffee Company. I think everyone should play hooky, guilt-free, at least once every few months. But I guess we have the advantage of calling in a sub. Some people might not have that, and that would be a bummer for their boss.
But the problem with vacations is that sometimes it feels worse when you come back than it did when you left. And by you I mean I. When I go on vacation, sometimes it's so rejuvenating that I'm excited to get back to "normal" life because I'm convinced that this time I can do everything, and better. But sometimes, yes like this time, I feel great when I'm away and then I come back and think, really? this is the life I chose? what can I cross off my schedule this week?
After I finish grumbling (both inside and to my husband) I realize that I'm just reaping the life I've sown, as crazy and too often unhealthy as it is. I have illusions that it will change when this or that happens, but it won't, not unless I make it change. It's a human liability, I believe, that we too often think that life happens to us. It does (yes, I am a divine determinist) and it doesn't (I have almost limitless choice).
And I really don't want my life to be just like a vacation, because then where would the fun be in vacations? But maybe a little bit more relaxation? That would be healthier for us all.
So choices here I come. Harken, New Years' resolutions?
But the problem with vacations is that sometimes it feels worse when you come back than it did when you left. And by you I mean I. When I go on vacation, sometimes it's so rejuvenating that I'm excited to get back to "normal" life because I'm convinced that this time I can do everything, and better. But sometimes, yes like this time, I feel great when I'm away and then I come back and think, really? this is the life I chose? what can I cross off my schedule this week?
After I finish grumbling (both inside and to my husband) I realize that I'm just reaping the life I've sown, as crazy and too often unhealthy as it is. I have illusions that it will change when this or that happens, but it won't, not unless I make it change. It's a human liability, I believe, that we too often think that life happens to us. It does (yes, I am a divine determinist) and it doesn't (I have almost limitless choice).
And I really don't want my life to be just like a vacation, because then where would the fun be in vacations? But maybe a little bit more relaxation? That would be healthier for us all.
So choices here I come. Harken, New Years' resolutions?
17 January 2010
Toddy
We've been slow to adapt to the toddy coffee maker my in-laws bought me for my birthday several months ago. Ryan, purist that he is (wink wink), thinks that coffee is just better brewed hot. He's convinced that the taste is compromised by the process. I, on the other hand, enjoy the taste much more with the cold brew system. Ryan likes dark beans, and I didn't realize how much of what I tasted in brewed coffee was the roast and acid rather than the actual coffee. By brewing with the Toddy, I actually taste the coffee. And it's lovely. Now who's the purist ;) ? To each his own, I guess.
Bonuses with the Toddy: less acid (means happier tummies and happier, you know, other functions), less prep (more important than ever as I race off to work or relish the quiet morning hours on the weekend before the Bean wakes up), more control over the strength of the coffee, more control over the milk/cream factor (I can make milkier, latte-type drinks with the Toddy), and, depending on who you ask, better taste.
Judge for yourself: www.toddycafe.com
Other opinions?
Bonuses with the Toddy: less acid (means happier tummies and happier, you know, other functions), less prep (more important than ever as I race off to work or relish the quiet morning hours on the weekend before the Bean wakes up), more control over the strength of the coffee, more control over the milk/cream factor (I can make milkier, latte-type drinks with the Toddy), and, depending on who you ask, better taste.
Judge for yourself: www.toddycafe.com
Other opinions?
16 January 2010
Eatin' Bean
This girl looooves her food! And thus far (knock on wood) she's a pretty open-minded eater. Lucky me :)
Unfortunately, she also enjoys eating books. I'm hoping this will become a love of literature!
Unfortunately, she also enjoys eating books. I'm hoping this will become a love of literature!
2 Weeks Down
2 weeks down and I haven't counted how many to go until the end of the school year, but the very fact that I'm thinking about it and it's only mid-January is not promising. The funny thing is (but perhaps funny isn't the right word) that I'm still enjoying teaching. It's a nice change from being at home all day, and middle schoolers are some of the funniest people I know. I can't wait to know Riley as a middle schooler (well, yes I can, but you understand).
So it's not that I'm not having a good time teaching, and it's not that I mind being away from Riley for several hours every morning (because I don't, most of the time). It's just that the human mind is only meant to juggle so many things and I think I'm pretty close to my limit. Over, on some days. I would like to be able to juggle being a great teacher to struggling readers so that they have a better shot at life, coming home to play with my baby girl and teach her how to grow up in this crazy world, planning and preparing nutritious & yummy meals for my family, exercising so that I feel healthier physically and just generally better about myself, keeping on plugging away at the children's writing program I'm in the middle of, finding time to read for pleasure, calling my siblings and close friends who live out of town to catch up more often ... my mind whirs just writing the list.
Since becoming a mom, I've realized, in a practical way that I hadn't before, that choosing to do something means choosing to not do something else. I honestly don't know what I did with all my free time before I was a mom, but I remember feeling that I had enough time to do the things I really wanted to do. I could do the have-tos and the want-tos. And now I can't. Now I have to choose to cook and choose not to read, and this one isn't actually so bad because I like cooking. What I don't like is choosing to prep for school and not to relax when Riley goes to bed, choosing to clean the bathroom and vacuum and not to write during her afternoon nap time, choosing to prep food for the week (I like cooking, not prepping) and not to go for an evening walk.
I know this is the same struggle most people in the world face. And I know I'm lucky to have the opportunity to make even some choices that feed my independence and creativity throughout the week. I have an amazing life, but the transitions are hard. Transitioning to parenting was hard, and now transitioning to being a working mom is hard too. But I think that avoiding that transition would have been just as hard. I'm giving up something either way, so I guess I've just got to figure out what I'm most willing to give up ... maybe that's a glass-is-half-empty way to look at it. Transitions force re-prioritizations. That to come.
So it's not that I'm not having a good time teaching, and it's not that I mind being away from Riley for several hours every morning (because I don't, most of the time). It's just that the human mind is only meant to juggle so many things and I think I'm pretty close to my limit. Over, on some days. I would like to be able to juggle being a great teacher to struggling readers so that they have a better shot at life, coming home to play with my baby girl and teach her how to grow up in this crazy world, planning and preparing nutritious & yummy meals for my family, exercising so that I feel healthier physically and just generally better about myself, keeping on plugging away at the children's writing program I'm in the middle of, finding time to read for pleasure, calling my siblings and close friends who live out of town to catch up more often ... my mind whirs just writing the list.
Since becoming a mom, I've realized, in a practical way that I hadn't before, that choosing to do something means choosing to not do something else. I honestly don't know what I did with all my free time before I was a mom, but I remember feeling that I had enough time to do the things I really wanted to do. I could do the have-tos and the want-tos. And now I can't. Now I have to choose to cook and choose not to read, and this one isn't actually so bad because I like cooking. What I don't like is choosing to prep for school and not to relax when Riley goes to bed, choosing to clean the bathroom and vacuum and not to write during her afternoon nap time, choosing to prep food for the week (I like cooking, not prepping) and not to go for an evening walk.
I know this is the same struggle most people in the world face. And I know I'm lucky to have the opportunity to make even some choices that feed my independence and creativity throughout the week. I have an amazing life, but the transitions are hard. Transitioning to parenting was hard, and now transitioning to being a working mom is hard too. But I think that avoiding that transition would have been just as hard. I'm giving up something either way, so I guess I've just got to figure out what I'm most willing to give up ... maybe that's a glass-is-half-empty way to look at it. Transitions force re-prioritizations. That to come.
12 January 2010
Writing
"Writing is a form of therapy; sometimes I wonder how all those who do not write, compose, or paint can manage to escape the madness, the melancholy, the panic fear which is inherent in the human situation." Graham Greene
I wonder.
I wonder.
P.S.
Jan 11 P.S.
I also had no idea how much I would enjoy my daughter. I have never been a baby person. I knew that I would love her from the beginning, but I didn't think I'd grow to like her so much so early in her little life. I thought it might take a year or so before I would find myself really enjoying my time with her. I know you already-moms are sitting there with a knowing smirky smile on your face right now because you know how quickly they develop a personality that just captures you. I didn't know. I had no idea how soon she would start to reveal herself as a unique little girl. And that's fun. Amazingly fun.
I also had no idea how much I would enjoy my daughter. I have never been a baby person. I knew that I would love her from the beginning, but I didn't think I'd grow to like her so much so early in her little life. I thought it might take a year or so before I would find myself really enjoying my time with her. I know you already-moms are sitting there with a knowing smirky smile on your face right now because you know how quickly they develop a personality that just captures you. I didn't know. I had no idea how soon she would start to reveal herself as a unique little girl. And that's fun. Amazingly fun.
11 January 2010
Knowing Myself
I'm realizing, yet again, how bad a predictor I am of myself. In general, I feel like I'm fairly good at predicting how I will react to something or someone. I thought it would be the same with parenting. This is not turning out to be true.
First, I thought that I would never enjoy being a stay-at-home mom. Not me, no way. I am a professional, and I'm good at what I do, and I really like it. When I was pregnant, the idea of giving up my job brought me to tears on a number of occasions. I felt like I was being robbed of something, not being given a gift. (Part of this is probably due to the fact that we weren't trying to get pregnant, so it wasn't like I'd chosen to take a professional time-out.) But the 6 months between when Riley was born and a week ago were amazing. Hard, absolutely, but amazing nonetheless. After the rough September transition when Ryan went back to work and I was on my own all day for the first time, we got into a groove and I really enjoyed my days with her. I also ended up doing a lot of cooking and reading about nutrition, which was great. I don't know why I thought those days would be so bad.
Second, I thought that I would be a relaxed, easy going, roll with the punches kind of parent. My parents weren't this way, and I wish they would have been. I see the effects of over-parenting all the time, both in me and my students. I figured that understanding this would be enough to help me make different choices. And it is ... sometimes. But when you start with a little wee one who can't do anything for herself, you have to be really intentional each day about taking a tiny step back so that she can grow into her own person. The tendency I have to control her life (forged primarily I believe by the way I was parented and the cultural parenting norms of the people I grew up around) run deep and are, at times, hard to resist. Giving her the freedom to make mistakes that she'll regret is going to be ridiculously difficult.
There are more, many more ways in which I've mis-predicted my responses to becoming a parent. She is another step in my own education of myself. Hard. Beautiful.
Thanks Riley.
First, I thought that I would never enjoy being a stay-at-home mom. Not me, no way. I am a professional, and I'm good at what I do, and I really like it. When I was pregnant, the idea of giving up my job brought me to tears on a number of occasions. I felt like I was being robbed of something, not being given a gift. (Part of this is probably due to the fact that we weren't trying to get pregnant, so it wasn't like I'd chosen to take a professional time-out.) But the 6 months between when Riley was born and a week ago were amazing. Hard, absolutely, but amazing nonetheless. After the rough September transition when Ryan went back to work and I was on my own all day for the first time, we got into a groove and I really enjoyed my days with her. I also ended up doing a lot of cooking and reading about nutrition, which was great. I don't know why I thought those days would be so bad.
Second, I thought that I would be a relaxed, easy going, roll with the punches kind of parent. My parents weren't this way, and I wish they would have been. I see the effects of over-parenting all the time, both in me and my students. I figured that understanding this would be enough to help me make different choices. And it is ... sometimes. But when you start with a little wee one who can't do anything for herself, you have to be really intentional each day about taking a tiny step back so that she can grow into her own person. The tendency I have to control her life (forged primarily I believe by the way I was parented and the cultural parenting norms of the people I grew up around) run deep and are, at times, hard to resist. Giving her the freedom to make mistakes that she'll regret is going to be ridiculously difficult.
There are more, many more ways in which I've mis-predicted my responses to becoming a parent. She is another step in my own education of myself. Hard. Beautiful.
Thanks Riley.
08 January 2010
Liver Pate
Riley's been eating solids for a few weeks now. During the last several days, I've been trying to think about what I can give her besides produce, which is pretty much all she's had because I'm not so sold on the iron-fortified cereal. Not that produce is bad, produce is lovely and yummy. And she really enjoys it ... well, all except for the avocado I tried to give her yesterday (wish I could have caught that face on camera). Not that I complained because it made great guacamole!
But, I do want her to get all the benefits from other kinds of food too. There's just too much to read about baby food. Too many voices. Too many opinions. Meat? No meat? No dairy until a year? Are you kidding? Eggs? Depends on who you read. It's all just so darn confusing.
So I read, in several baby food sources, about all the good stuff in organ meats and, culinary risk-taker that I am, thought I'd try to feed her some liver. I've never eaten liver and it doesn't seem all to appealing to me, but, I thought, she likes peas (which I abhor) so she just might like liver too. So I found me a recipe for chicken liver pate and bought us some liver at Market of Choice. Liver even looks and feels gross. The process of washing it almost made me vomit. Anyway ... so I made the pate, and in the process stunk up our kitchen. She had better like this, I thought to myself. Then I thought, I wonder if I'd like it? I really should've known better because it looked and smelled so bad. But I didn't, I rarely do. So I tried it, gagged, and ran to the sink to spit it out. Then I grabbed the closet food, an apple, and took several quick bites. I really hope my daughter doesn't have this bad of taste, I thought, as I took it over to her.
As always, she smiles and opens her mouth wide when I bring her food. She's really quite the happy eater. (I'd love to post a pic here but, for some reason, I can't get the camera software to load on this new computer. Will have to keep trying.) I held out the spoon with some liver pate on it. Her lips closed, still smiling. But half a second later, her whole face contorted, she pulled her head away from the spoon, looked at me with an "Are you f-ing kidding me?" expression, and promptly pushed the liver pate out with her tongue. Then, face still sour, she kept pushing her tongue out of her mouth over and over again as if trying to get rid of the liverish saliva. Understanding her pain, I quickly mashed a banana. With uncharacteristic hesitation, she opened her mouth for the banana ... and kept opening until her new, better food was gone.
Won't make that mistake again.
To smarter, more experienced mamas ... any suggestions?
But, I do want her to get all the benefits from other kinds of food too. There's just too much to read about baby food. Too many voices. Too many opinions. Meat? No meat? No dairy until a year? Are you kidding? Eggs? Depends on who you read. It's all just so darn confusing.
So I read, in several baby food sources, about all the good stuff in organ meats and, culinary risk-taker that I am, thought I'd try to feed her some liver. I've never eaten liver and it doesn't seem all to appealing to me, but, I thought, she likes peas (which I abhor) so she just might like liver too. So I found me a recipe for chicken liver pate and bought us some liver at Market of Choice. Liver even looks and feels gross. The process of washing it almost made me vomit. Anyway ... so I made the pate, and in the process stunk up our kitchen. She had better like this, I thought to myself. Then I thought, I wonder if I'd like it? I really should've known better because it looked and smelled so bad. But I didn't, I rarely do. So I tried it, gagged, and ran to the sink to spit it out. Then I grabbed the closet food, an apple, and took several quick bites. I really hope my daughter doesn't have this bad of taste, I thought, as I took it over to her.
As always, she smiles and opens her mouth wide when I bring her food. She's really quite the happy eater. (I'd love to post a pic here but, for some reason, I can't get the camera software to load on this new computer. Will have to keep trying.) I held out the spoon with some liver pate on it. Her lips closed, still smiling. But half a second later, her whole face contorted, she pulled her head away from the spoon, looked at me with an "Are you f-ing kidding me?" expression, and promptly pushed the liver pate out with her tongue. Then, face still sour, she kept pushing her tongue out of her mouth over and over again as if trying to get rid of the liverish saliva. Understanding her pain, I quickly mashed a banana. With uncharacteristic hesitation, she opened her mouth for the banana ... and kept opening until her new, better food was gone.
Won't make that mistake again.
To smarter, more experienced mamas ... any suggestions?
Making Scones
After a long week of school, making scones was just the remedy for my overworked mind.
I love making scones, the actual making part. Sure, I always enjoy eating the scones when they're done, but the process of making them is just as, if not more, rewarding than the actual eating. There's something about working the butter into the flour that's quite cathartic. I like feeling the butter slowly warm between my fingers and watching the mixture become consistent throughout.
I also like that scones are simple and predictable. While I enjoy being creative and spontaneous, I also enjoy a process that I know will turn out well if I just do a few simple steps.
1 3/4 c. flour
4 T. butter
4 t. baking powder
1/2 c. plain yogurt
2 T. milk
a dash of ginger and a handful of craisins
Gotta go make my coffee :)
I love making scones, the actual making part. Sure, I always enjoy eating the scones when they're done, but the process of making them is just as, if not more, rewarding than the actual eating. There's something about working the butter into the flour that's quite cathartic. I like feeling the butter slowly warm between my fingers and watching the mixture become consistent throughout.
I also like that scones are simple and predictable. While I enjoy being creative and spontaneous, I also enjoy a process that I know will turn out well if I just do a few simple steps.
1 3/4 c. flour
4 T. butter
4 t. baking powder
1/2 c. plain yogurt
2 T. milk
a dash of ginger and a handful of craisins
Gotta go make my coffee :)
07 January 2010
I dunno ... I dunno ... I dunno
As a new teacher, I learned quickly that "I dunno" is one of a middle schoolers favorite phrases. They can use it anywhere, in response to almost any question. "I don't remember" is used when "I dunno" won't work (or won't work any more). This is my funniest "I dunno" story. And it just happened yesterday.
The kids are creating reading profiles. Having come in half-way through the year, I wanted to get some more background about the feelings and interests they have regarding reading. They have to answer questions such as, What's a memory you have of reading or being read to as a child? What was your favorite kid's book? What's your favorite book now? How do you find new books? How do you feel about reading? Etc.
I have one student, let's call her Susan, who was especially struggling. Here's how our conversation went.
I walked over to Susan's desk. "It looks like you're having a hard time filling out your reading profile," I commented.
"Yea, I dunno any of the answers," she said without looking up.
"Really ... like what?" I asked, wanting to focus on a real question rather than a general problem.
"I dunno who taught me to read."
"Well that makes sense. It was probably a long time ago, huh?" I said, remembering that a lot of students had a problem with this question.
"And I dunno what my favorite book is," Susan added.
"That's hard for me too because I don't really have a favorite book. I have lots of favorites."
Wanting me to know that she had a more difficult reason, she added, "Well I haven't hardly read any books. I can't think of any."
"You can't think of any books you've read?" I said, certain that I must have misunderstood her.
"No." I had understood.
"Wow, really. Well, what was your favorite book as a kid?"
"I dunno."
"Well, what was the last book you read?"
"I dunno."
"Well just before break you did a book report. What book did you do yours on?"
"I don't remember. But I didn't like it."
"So you really can't think of any books you've ever read?"
"Nope. I don't really read."
I know that Susan does read. I see her read every day. She must have read hundreds of books over the course of her life. So I asked, "How old are you?"
"I dunno," she said. I paused, got a smirk on my face, and then started laughing at her, rather loudly in fact. Now, I think I probably laugh at students more than most teachers (it's one of the things I love about working with 11 to 13 year olds), but I don't remember the last time I laughed this hard at a kid. She looked up at me, confused by my reaction.
And then, after a moment of brief analysis, "Oh no, I do know the answer to that!" she said, and, after a brief moment of embarrassment, started laughing with me.
And all was well again in Room 9.
The kids are creating reading profiles. Having come in half-way through the year, I wanted to get some more background about the feelings and interests they have regarding reading. They have to answer questions such as, What's a memory you have of reading or being read to as a child? What was your favorite kid's book? What's your favorite book now? How do you find new books? How do you feel about reading? Etc.
I have one student, let's call her Susan, who was especially struggling. Here's how our conversation went.
I walked over to Susan's desk. "It looks like you're having a hard time filling out your reading profile," I commented.
"Yea, I dunno any of the answers," she said without looking up.
"Really ... like what?" I asked, wanting to focus on a real question rather than a general problem.
"I dunno who taught me to read."
"Well that makes sense. It was probably a long time ago, huh?" I said, remembering that a lot of students had a problem with this question.
"And I dunno what my favorite book is," Susan added.
"That's hard for me too because I don't really have a favorite book. I have lots of favorites."
Wanting me to know that she had a more difficult reason, she added, "Well I haven't hardly read any books. I can't think of any."
"You can't think of any books you've read?" I said, certain that I must have misunderstood her.
"No." I had understood.
"Wow, really. Well, what was your favorite book as a kid?"
"I dunno."
"Well, what was the last book you read?"
"I dunno."
"Well just before break you did a book report. What book did you do yours on?"
"I don't remember. But I didn't like it."
"So you really can't think of any books you've ever read?"
"Nope. I don't really read."
I know that Susan does read. I see her read every day. She must have read hundreds of books over the course of her life. So I asked, "How old are you?"
"I dunno," she said. I paused, got a smirk on my face, and then started laughing at her, rather loudly in fact. Now, I think I probably laugh at students more than most teachers (it's one of the things I love about working with 11 to 13 year olds), but I don't remember the last time I laughed this hard at a kid. She looked up at me, confused by my reaction.
And then, after a moment of brief analysis, "Oh no, I do know the answer to that!" she said, and, after a brief moment of embarrassment, started laughing with me.
And all was well again in Room 9.
04 January 2010
First Day Back
For the last 6 months, I've been equally longing for and dreading my first day back at work. In September, I wasn't sure I could handle Riley without Ryan because we'd been a team all summer. Then I got used to it and it was lovely. In October, I got restless and didn't know if I could make it to January without something else to do during my day besides hanging out with a 4-month-old and cook and clean and run errands. I almost signed up to sub one day a week. Come November, I had found my stride and had several teary evenings because now I didn't want to go back to work. I wanted to stay home and hang out with my little bean and cook, clean, take walks, and run errands. How erratic I am! Then, slowly, throughout the month of December (and a couple good counseling sessions with Christine), I finally felt a bit of peace, which is not a word I use lightly. For the last few weeks, I've been looking forward to going back to work because I miss teaching. I left a job I really enjoyed and I wanted it to still be a part of my life. Though I will never love it more than her, I don't feel like that means I have to always and only choose her.
Last night I didn't sleep well because I was nervous, more for Riley's sake than for mine. A bottle is a play toy to her and she just starting solid foods a couple weeks ago (bananas and peas are her favorites so far). She'd never gone that long without nursing except at night. So I was worried that my mother might have a melt down on her hands, not because Riley was hungry, but just because she was irritated at not being able to nurse. And Riley loves nursing. She has the dive bomb the breast move perfected.
So the morning was good, really fun. Fun kids, fun to be back at school. I was really enjoying myself. Then 11:15 came and my teaching day was done. I bit my fingernails all the way home, anxious to hear how it went. My worries, as usual, were unnecessary. Mom got Riley to drink a little from the bottle, fed her some banana, and lulled her into her morning nap with a long walk in the stroller. I came home to a happy baby ... until, that is, she saw me walk in the door, at which point she started wiggling and whining like I new she would. And it didn't stop until she was happily in my lap, nursing and petting my chest.
Maybe this transition won't be as traumatic as I thought it might be. Thank God for happy babies and helpful moms.
Last night I didn't sleep well because I was nervous, more for Riley's sake than for mine. A bottle is a play toy to her and she just starting solid foods a couple weeks ago (bananas and peas are her favorites so far). She'd never gone that long without nursing except at night. So I was worried that my mother might have a melt down on her hands, not because Riley was hungry, but just because she was irritated at not being able to nurse. And Riley loves nursing. She has the dive bomb the breast move perfected.
So the morning was good, really fun. Fun kids, fun to be back at school. I was really enjoying myself. Then 11:15 came and my teaching day was done. I bit my fingernails all the way home, anxious to hear how it went. My worries, as usual, were unnecessary. Mom got Riley to drink a little from the bottle, fed her some banana, and lulled her into her morning nap with a long walk in the stroller. I came home to a happy baby ... until, that is, she saw me walk in the door, at which point she started wiggling and whining like I new she would. And it didn't stop until she was happily in my lap, nursing and petting my chest.
Maybe this transition won't be as traumatic as I thought it might be. Thank God for happy babies and helpful moms.
03 January 2010
Quiche
Quiche is the new soup in the Carroll house. Several years ago, the meal I would make with whatever was in the fridge at the end of the week was usually a stir fry. During the last couple years, it's been soup. Now, it's quiche. I never new how lovely and versatile quiche was.
Growing up, none of my siblings or I liked quiche. I'm not sure if it was how my mother prepared it or if we were just picky, but she gave up on it after only a couple tries. So, for the last couple decades, I thought I didn't like quiche. Not so! Last summer, while trying to figure out what else I could do with the Italian kale in our CSA box, I thought I'd give quiche another try. After all, I didn't use to like asparagus or blue cheese and now they're a couple favorites (too bad they're kinda expensive). So, I made some quiche with onion, mushrooms, and kale. Loved it! We both did (but Ryan's less picky than me so that was no surprise).
So now quiche is a staple, an easy, meatless, fall-back dinner. Got onions, mushrooms, kale or chard or even spinach? Make quiche. Leftover ham slices from lunch and broccoli that's about to go bad? Make quiche. Leftover salmon from last night's dinner, chives, and parmesan or asiago? Make quiche. I'm pretty convinced that you can through almost anything into the eggs/raw milk & cream/cayenne mixture and make a great quiche.
Now I just have to find that perfect crust recipe. I just haven't got one I'm happy with. Any suggestions?
Growing up, none of my siblings or I liked quiche. I'm not sure if it was how my mother prepared it or if we were just picky, but she gave up on it after only a couple tries. So, for the last couple decades, I thought I didn't like quiche. Not so! Last summer, while trying to figure out what else I could do with the Italian kale in our CSA box, I thought I'd give quiche another try. After all, I didn't use to like asparagus or blue cheese and now they're a couple favorites (too bad they're kinda expensive). So, I made some quiche with onion, mushrooms, and kale. Loved it! We both did (but Ryan's less picky than me so that was no surprise).
So now quiche is a staple, an easy, meatless, fall-back dinner. Got onions, mushrooms, kale or chard or even spinach? Make quiche. Leftover ham slices from lunch and broccoli that's about to go bad? Make quiche. Leftover salmon from last night's dinner, chives, and parmesan or asiago? Make quiche. I'm pretty convinced that you can through almost anything into the eggs/raw milk & cream/cayenne mixture and make a great quiche.
Now I just have to find that perfect crust recipe. I just haven't got one I'm happy with. Any suggestions?
02 January 2010
A Child's Imagination
"I doubt that imagination can be suppressed. If you truly eradicated it in a child, he would grow up to be an eggplant." Ursula LeGuin
I've been thinking lately, for obvious reasons, about how to raise my daughter to embrace and trust her creativity. I didn't pursue creativity much growing up (my parents have other talents), but I really want my daughter to experiment with that kind of learning and expression. Certainly she's too young for a piano and too small to hold a paintbrush, but she loves when we play music and sing to her ... so maybe she's tapping into her creative soul already. I'm looking forward to exploring our imaginations together, but it does require an acceptance of messiness that I might have to work on.
On another subject, if you've never read LeGuin, you're missing out. Do it. The Earthsea Series is fun. She also has a great writing book called The Wave in the Mind.
And yet another note, I don't think eggplants are boring at all.
Happy 6 month birthday RileyRoo!
I've been thinking lately, for obvious reasons, about how to raise my daughter to embrace and trust her creativity. I didn't pursue creativity much growing up (my parents have other talents), but I really want my daughter to experiment with that kind of learning and expression. Certainly she's too young for a piano and too small to hold a paintbrush, but she loves when we play music and sing to her ... so maybe she's tapping into her creative soul already. I'm looking forward to exploring our imaginations together, but it does require an acceptance of messiness that I might have to work on.
On another subject, if you've never read LeGuin, you're missing out. Do it. The Earthsea Series is fun. She also has a great writing book called The Wave in the Mind.
And yet another note, I don't think eggplants are boring at all.
Happy 6 month birthday RileyRoo!
01 January 2010
Resolutions
I'm a big believer in New Year's Resolutions, though I fail at as many as I keep (if not more). Having an external reason to start fresh is invigorating, kinda like a big clothing sale makes buying something you don't need and may not wear more exciting ... and you may actually wear it more because it was "such a good deal". My husband doesn't buy this logic, but I think it's pretty sound.
So, New Year's resolutions:
1. Write more (ergo this blog and a children's writing program I just started)
2. Spend more time reflecting (I'm hoping this will make me grow up more quickly, but I'm not sure that's a realistic hope)
3. Learn to love my husband more like I love my daughter, unconditionally
4. Eat more real food (http://realfood.info/)
5. Do yoga more often ... makes me feel so good, inside and out
6. Lose the rest of the pregnancy weight by spring break (not really a goal I want to make public, but oh well)
Six goals is enough, right? Too many maybe? I don't know. And I don't know why I'd be more motivated this year than I was last year or the year before or the year before that. But I do want to live a better life, truly I do, and I think getting better at these things would help me do that.
The difficult part is coming up with strategies to keep my goals. My strategies rarely work because the desire I feel for something in the moment (vegging in front of the TV, baking and eating chocolate cake, thinking about yoga instead of doing it ... maybe all of these at once?) is almost always a stronger feeling than my desire to meet my long term goal of actually being a healthier person. I guess I'm hedonistic that way. But resolution means to solve again right? Re = again. So I guess that's the point of New Year's resolutions, to try, once again, to tackle things I've failed at before.
So here we go 2010!
So, New Year's resolutions:
1. Write more (ergo this blog and a children's writing program I just started)
2. Spend more time reflecting (I'm hoping this will make me grow up more quickly, but I'm not sure that's a realistic hope)
3. Learn to love my husband more like I love my daughter, unconditionally
4. Eat more real food (http://realfood.info/)
5. Do yoga more often ... makes me feel so good, inside and out
6. Lose the rest of the pregnancy weight by spring break (not really a goal I want to make public, but oh well)
Six goals is enough, right? Too many maybe? I don't know. And I don't know why I'd be more motivated this year than I was last year or the year before or the year before that. But I do want to live a better life, truly I do, and I think getting better at these things would help me do that.
The difficult part is coming up with strategies to keep my goals. My strategies rarely work because the desire I feel for something in the moment (vegging in front of the TV, baking and eating chocolate cake, thinking about yoga instead of doing it ... maybe all of these at once?) is almost always a stronger feeling than my desire to meet my long term goal of actually being a healthier person. I guess I'm hedonistic that way. But resolution means to solve again right? Re = again. So I guess that's the point of New Year's resolutions, to try, once again, to tackle things I've failed at before.
So here we go 2010!
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