Tired

Oh when do the tired days end?

When I was in college, pulling late late evenings and sometime all-nighters, I remember thinking - When college is over, I will be able to sleep in.

When I started my first teaching job and came home with hours of work each night just to be prepared for the next day, I remember thinking - My 2nd year will be less work, and the 3rd even less. Then I will be able to sleep.

Then I got married. Ryan was working his first teaching job. I spent my evenings cooking, cleaning the kitchen, cleaning other parts of the house, and then stayed up late helping him with his schoolwork and occasionally doing some of my own, and I remember thinking - When this first year of marriage is over and Ryan's more organized, then we will get more sleep.

And then we went to Poland. That was an easy job, a leisure year ... certainly I would get more sleep there! But I was unhappy, and stayed up late drinking and playing scramble with neighbors because going to sleep meant I had to wake up and go to the job I hated again.

When we came back from Poland, I remember thinking - I know I'm not going to sleep this year. I was working full-time and in a graduate program full-time. All the better because our awful little apartment wasn't so sound proof.

And then we moved to Eugene and got pregnant. I remember thinking - Now this is a great excuse to sleep, and boy am I tired! But, dead on my feet though I was, I still didn't sleep. It's hard to do when you have to get up 3 times/night to pee, and another half dozen times to get comfortable again.

Then, of course, we had our wonderful Bean who we love to the moon and back. Maybe I'll sleep in 18 years.